NEW ORLEANS
By Charlotte Cooper
At 7 months pregnant, my Mom gave birth to twins: one born lifeless, one alive. I was the surviving twin, born with blond curly hair, one blue eye and one green. Being the impossible child that I was, I only slept 2 to 4 hours a night.
From the time I started walking at 8 months, I would hide in closets and under the bed, leaving my mother exasperated. At 5, I began to run away. I would spend the night in Mom’s friends’ homes, sleeping in their homes and cars. Mother called the police more times than I care to remember. I would return home, filthy, dirty, and in tattered clothes, telling Mom ludicrous stories about the time I was a pirate, a whore, a priest.
My aunt suggested that my mother send me to my vodoun (voodoo witch) aunt in New Orleans in hopes that she could tame my wildness by teaching me about spells, potions, and other things, such as talking to people who needed help with their lives.
After four years, my mother came to New Orleans and tore me from my aunt’s arms, me screaming, scratching and threatening her with spells that would undo her life. My aunt tried to calm me but it didn’t work. I finally gave up after my aunt and I spent hours and hours begging and pleading my mother to let me stay.
When we arrived home, Mother told me that she was taking me to a shrink, which was a shameful thing back in those days. Actually, she said she was taking me to a “head doctor”. Of course, every time she made an appointment, I would disappear.
I finally agreed to go, and the shrink put me on some kind of medication that made me into a zombie. After that, he suggested to my Mom that maybe I should be put in the local mental institution. Also, he suggested that I be given shock treatments. I didn’t know what that was but it sounded like an unbearable thought to me. So I ran away again.
While staying with a friend, Judith, I met her brother. I was 14, he was 17. We made a baby and the families turned their focus from me to the baby boy I called Joey. Soon after, I was put on Valium, and this made the “crazies” come back. I overdosed twice and had to stay in the hospital’s mental ward.
After I was released, I found a job and a baby-sitter. My husband had joined the Army and was sent to Germany, but I couldn’t take my son and go with him. While he was in Germany, he fell in love with a teacher. She got pregnant and called me, begging that I divorce Joe, Sr. Although I was crushed, I did manage to give her what she wanted.
Life, after that, brought several marriages and 2 more sons born to me. It was necessary for me to work 2 jobs most of the time. That, along with vodka, soothed out my mania.
To add to the pain in my life, my son William died of pneumonia, and Tim was thrown from the back of a truck my then-husband was driving. He died of fatal head injuries. I rolled myself into a ball and stayed there for many days.
You never get over the loss of a child. I still think of my boys every day. The pain is near unbearable. It never goes away.
After that, I was a legal secretary for an array of attorneys. Learning about law was interesting at first, but turned boring after a few months. I quit and went to truck driving school. I fell in love with Ronnie, one of the other students. After graduating, we drove back and forth to Kemah, Texas to Bayou la Batre, Alabama. After Ron’s and my relationship was over, I moved on to other truck driving jobs. Most of my friends were other truckers. Seldom did I say no to sex. Pot was a staple for me.
Knowing esoteric things about people was fun. At 40-something, I started using my aunt’s spells and powers. People from all over the State of Texas would come to me for readings. I loved being able to help people see things that were hidden in the deepest parts of their minds.
At 50-something, my so-called friends began to disappear gradually from my life. I believe that it was because voodoo began to slip back into my life, and they were not believers. I believe they were leeches, grabbing my coattails, but when it got too weird, they were no longer available.
By that time, I didn’t really care. I moved into mainstream life by getting a job as a legal secretary and later as a paralegal. I was strictly on the up and up with my life. When my oldest son, Joey, took his own life, everything seemed to fall apart. I decided I needed a shrink.
They diagnosed me as depressed and treated me with several different medications. All of them made me manic. I didn’t sleep at night and I begin to hallucinate.
I lost my job at the law firm. They gave me an excellent severance package. With it and my 401K, I was able to go to massage therapy school. At the school, I was able to read lives for those who would asked. Then about half-way through massage school, several students decided that I was too scary for their liking. Their talking about me behind my back affected the manic part of my personality, and I withdrew from them.
After graduating from massage school, I embarked on my new career – giving people massages while also doing a reading. It was short-lived because while some liked it, others freaked out.
Finally, I went to MHMR for counseling and diagnosis. At first it was just for depression. The meds made me manic and when I crashed, I became suicidal. We played the med shuffle for 3 years. I finally convinced the doctor that I needed something other than what they were giving me.
He finally suggested that I sign a Court Order which would let me be admitted to the state psychiatric hospital. I was there twice. MHMR assisted me in getting Social Security Disability at 58, and now, at 65, I am on straight Social Security. A group of mental health providers finally found me an agreeable treatment. But even today, they have to tweak my meds occasionally, to help me brain balance itself out.
Charlotte now lives in the country near Corpus Christi, Texas, with her roommate, Bonnie, who Charlotte feels is an angel in disguise. It’s still difficult sometimes when the depression and/or mania shows its ugly face, but Charlotte recognizes its coming and going now. Mostly, life is good and she is happy.
Thank you fgor sharing such intimate details, Charlotte. ((Hugs)) Hon!
It still creeps into my life. As I age, the bp slips up on me before I realize its there. I’m, so, suffering right now.
Thank you for your comments
May peace, love and light surround you. I care.