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Posts Tagged ‘ptsd’

Tree of Hope

 

Tree of Hope is a modified photograph by Ally Preston. By contrasting the lone tree against a dark landscape, Ally wants to show that there is hope for women with mental illness. She finds photography to be therapeutic for her fight against PTSD.

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Birth of PTSD

BIRTH OF PTSD

By Jodi Kluchar

Jodi Kluchar lives in Ohio with her son and daughter. After the birth of her son, she experienced nightmares and flashbacks of his emergency cesarean delivery, but didn’t tell anyone. She was extremely depressed and suicidal for about a year. When she found out she was pregnant with her daughter, she began to have panic attacks and became very suicidal. That was when she finally sought help. Jodi has been on medications and in counseling ever since. Although she doesn’t feel like she will ever be completely ‘cured’, she tries to live in the moment. Now, when she peers into the looking glass, she likes what she sees.

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SOLITUDE

By Jodi Kluchar

Solitude,

Unyielding Solitude.

It cuts at my being like a knife…

A demon clawing my flesh.

Might this fiend leave me alone?

No.

I chose this Solitude,

This demon is my only friend.

Hollow as this union may be,

It is all I know,

I cling to it.

I will not let it go.

After all,

Don’t I deserve the torture?

Who am I to think I am entitled to anything better?

Agony, Pain, Emptiness, and Depression are my sisters.

They are my family,

We are joined together in Blood,

Precious Blood.

No matter how hard I try to disown them,

They always come back.

But, how hard do I try?

If they were gone,

Then I would be utterly alone.

That, I could not bear.

Jodi Kluchar lives in Ohio with her son and daughter. After the birth of her son, she experienced nightmares and flashbacks of his emergency cesarean delivery, but didn’t tell anyone. She was extremely depressed and suicidal for about a year. When she found out she was pregnant with her daughter, she began to have panic attacks and became very suicidal. That was when she finally sought help. Jodi has been on medications and in counseling ever since. Although she doesn’t feel like she will ever be completely ‘cured’, she tries to live in the moment. Now, when she peers into the looking glass, she likes what she sees.

Jodi runs a website for women who have had traumatic birth experiences and suffer from PTSD as a result. Visit: http://www.ptsdafterchildbirth.org for information and support.

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A Scarlet Cord of Hope

by Sheryl Griffin

Guilt, shame, and fear have played a major role in my life, although I never realized the power they held over me until three and half years ago, when I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, along with panic and anxiety. For me it was not one event but rather a life time of events that included my parent’s marriage and divorce, their alcoholism, their bitterness and anger at one another, my mother’s (untreated) mental illness, my own promiscuous youth and teen pregnancy, abortion, more guilt and shame, and finally an emotionally and physically abusive marriage (that was almost nine years long). It was not until fourteen years after my divorce and eleven years into my second marriage that my brain finally relaxed. It was as if my brain said, “You are in a safe place; now let’s deal with everything”. So, after two ambulance rides, three ER visits, and numerous tests, scans, and blood work, I finally found my diagnosis. I sought the help of a psychiatrist and she is the one that diagnosed me. After nine months of therapy and medication, she referred me to another doctor, one who she felt could take me to the next level of help. This doctor specialized in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). EMDR has held the key of healing for me. While I cannot fully explain all of the hows and whys, I can tell you, I know that it does work. It allowed me to re-process my memories in a way that no longer triggers me. It helps my brain to get out of the flight, fight, or freeze mode it would so easily go into with certain people, triggers, or situations.

Several other things have helped me along the way. One of the important ones has been to recognize that I am not alone. I have also realized I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. Once I accepted my diagnosis I was determined to deal with everything once and for all, and face my scarlet cord of guilt, shame, and fear. My faith, my husband, and my children have also played a significant part of my healing and moving forward. I try to live my life one day at a time, one moment at a time, and remember that there is always HOPE!

Sheryl Griffin is an author, an encourager, and a mom. Her story has three important elements: courage, forgiveness, and hope. Sheryl is grateful for the opportunities that God has given her to share her story, a story about her own scarlet cord and the ultimate hope she found. To order a copy of her first book, A Scarlet Cord of Hope… My Journey through Guilt, Shame, and Fear to Hope, please visit her web site, http://www.SherylGriffin.com or send her an email at Sheryl@SherylGriffin.com. Sheryl is also available for speaking engagements.

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